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Celebrity Baby Showdown: Shiloh, Suri & Kingston

Welcome to the ultimate cuteness showdown. As the year draws to a close, we thought you might enjoy a photo comparison of three of the sweetest humans to join the population in 2006. Talk about a toss-up! We present TomKat spawn Suri Cruise (left), Gwen Stefani’s son Kingston James McGregor Rossdale (center) and Brangelina product Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt (right) with her mother.
Three babies. 10 names. Infinite cuddliness. Who would you rather spend time with if you had the chance? It’s a complete toss-up as far as T.H. Gossip is concerned, but we will say this much: There is absolutely no way in hell that Tom Cruise is Suri’s biological dad. Look at that little Asian cutie! Something’s up here.
Posted in Celebrity Babies, Suri Cruise, Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt No Comments »

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Tom, Katie, Suri Back in the U.S.A.

A romantic honeymoon in the Republic of Maldives ended this morning for Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes, who took their precious baggage to the airport. They also brought along their cute little Asian baby, Suri Cruise.

The family was reportedly heading home on Cruise’s private jet. Much as we love bashing TomKat, we have to say that this impromptu family portrait is awfully cute. Except for the fact that Katie looks topless and like she’s a zombie possessed and controlled by Scientology operatives. Sorry, couldn’t resist. Loons.
Posted in Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Suri Cruise No Comments »

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Suri Cruise Actually Spotted Outside TomKat Compound

Believe it. Suri Cruise, the reclusive little Asian baby, made a surprise, rare public appearance with her mother, Katie Holmes, and her dad, Tom Cruise, at City Hall in Rome. She looks tired. Probably from watching Tom run around the house like a loon and jumping on furniture every day. The guy is straight up insane. Anyway, here are the Suri pics:

TomKat is now making preparations to get married Saturday in Rome, after Katie’s parents reportedly a hissy fit that the couple planned on getting hitched at a Scientology church. Amazing. We can’t imagine why they’d object to her being brainwashed by a cult. Or buying a $340 thong. These things make perfect sense.
Posted in Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Suri Cruise No Comments »

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Happy Halloween From Suri Cruise and Lindsay Lohan

In honor of Halloween, and autumn in general, here are a couple of fall-themed pictures we came across while scouring the Internets for Gossip. Feast your eyes on these puppies: On the left, we see a Suri Cruise pumpkin. So cute and innocent. The Asian-looking spawn of TomKat is captured really nicely in this jack-o-lantern, we have to admit. Apologies to the creator of this piece if it is actually intended to be Bjork — hope you can understand the confusion.
On the right, we have a pumpkin carved in the likeness of Lindsay Lohan… after a long night of partying. Yes, this is as accurate a depiction of the drugged-up skank as one could hope for. The only thing missing is a pumpkin of Rumer Willis by her side and rushing to clean up the vomit. Gotta love having a personal bitch assistant.
Posted in Lindsay Lohan, Suri Cruise No Comments »

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Celebrity Look-Alikes, Vol. 13

Special thanks to one of our readers, who we shall call Kerri, for this suggestion. Our celebrity look-alikes aren’t always on the mark — sometimes, such as in the case of Tom Cruise and Kim Jong Il, they’re really more for laughs than any sort of serious comparison. But we think this pair of look-alikes is particularly solid. At least as far as six-month old celebrity babies and Icelandic pop singers go.

Yes, that is little Suri Cruise (left), and the amazing Bjork. Despite turning 41 later this year, we think Bjork is a dead-ringer for the spawn of TomKat.
Posted in Celebrity Look-Alikes, Suri Cruise, bjork No Comments »

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If Suri Cruise Could Talk… She’d Want Out!

If babies (or Jessica Simpson) were smart enough to put together complete sentences, oh, the sweet, innocent and inane things they would say.
Alas, all we can do is speculate. Below, T.H. Gossip has done just that, taking a trip inside the mind of that little Asian cutie, Suri Cruise.

Despite the adulation of her parents, Suri clearly realizes — even at the tender age of six months — that TomKat has more than a few screws loose. To say the least. They practice Scientology, which is essentially witchcraft. Suri’s pleas for help do not fall upon deaf ears, we assure you… but Tom Cruise’s rather large security detail might have something to say about our liberating the poor tyke. *sigh*
Well, a Gossip website can dream, at least. FREE SURI!
Posted in Suri Cruise 5 Comments »

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Suri Cruise: The Halloween Dress-up Game

After chronicling the life and times of Suri Cruise for like, ever, we’re excited to see what the little Asian cutie will be going as for her first Halloween.
As we talked about a few weeks ago, there are certainly a ton of spooky costume options out there. But we don’t feel those are up Suri’s alley. Going as a starving Kate Bosworth, while topical and not unfunny, is probably too scary for a little tyke.
We came across a fun website, however, where you can dress up TomKat’s spawn in a variety of costumes. Follow the link and make your own! Here’s what we came up with:

Not sure which is our favorite among the ones we made. Probably the one on the right, in which Suri is naked except for a grass skirt. A little risque, but what’s Halloween without pushing the envelope? We also think Katie Holmes‘ daughter makes a good alien freak, but that’s just us
Regardless, it’s fun for the whole family. Unless you believe in Scientology, of course, in which case you probably think Halloween is sacrilegious and $h!t.
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Suri Cruise: The Remix?

That’s right, just four months after her birth and one month after her Asian much-anticipated debut in Vanity Fair, rumors are bubbling that little Suri Cruise may have some company in her insane household before long.
On Saturday, paparazzi were on hand to capture Tom Cruise’s standard Suri-free outing to cheer on his adopted children with Nicole Kidman — Connor, 11, and Isabella, 13 — at their respective football and soccer games.
His baby’s mama, Katie Holmes, accompanied him, and the photographers instantly noticed what appeared to be a slight swelling beneath the super-slim actress’ sweat-inducing ensemble of a black mock turtleneck, black bodysuit, second-skin black jeans and green blazer.
In Hollywood, and in Gossip circles, this teeny bulge was enough to spark talk that Scientology may soon add another devotee to its ranks.
Could Katie be incubating a second “glorious,” “gorgeous” and completely “normal” mop-topped Tom spawn, or is her apparent puffiness simply the result of too much layering (to ward off the blustery 75-degree chill), or perhaps a remaining pound or two of baby weight, or even an extra-large latte downed moments before the photo op?
Who the hell knows.
As for the long-heralded Cruise-Holmes nuptials, which Us Weekly recently posited were just “days away,” but that crappy magazine can’t seem to get the on details straight. In Touch says Katie will pledge to love Tom in sickness and in health, in Xenu and E-meters, until death — career or otherwise — do they part while wearing a Giorgio Armani creation.
“She wanted something completely original. It will be classic — long, flowing and fabulous. She’s going to look like something out of a fairy tale,” the mag claims.
The official word from the TomKat camp has long been that the vow-swap will happen by “early fall,” which means right about now-ish.

Posted in Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Suri Cruise 1 Comment »